Reflection of Me

A woman chooses a man that reflects how she feels about herself. 

A man treats a woman how he feels about himself.

That’s some good Word right there.  Yeah, I got that from Pastor Jones this morning.  (Why does that man ALWAYS kick me in the face?  Because he loves me?)  All I could do was nod my head and admit that he was talking me.  Yes, indeed, he was talking to me.

You see, you can tell how I feel about me by the dude I was dating at the time.  When I am feeling good about me, I will date a man that meets my requirements, in other words, meets most of my list, treats me right, and receives my affection without misusing me.  When I feel like crap, that dude can treat me like crap and I will ask what I am doing wrong.  And have the audacity to cry the ugly cry when he breaks it off with me.  Side note: Why do I always let dudes break up with me, even knowing that I “been needed” to break up with them…and then have my heart broken over it?  (I am real educated but I guess my schooling, as my grandmother calls it, does not apply to my love life.)

I have to get that part of me together.  My self-esteem that is.  I need to feel good about me all day every day.  So many people see me as great (LOL) that I SHOULD, even if I’m just living off the glow of their shine, but there are times when all I see are the negatives…bad skin, gut that is out of control (in my opinion), hair that needs some perm in the back and some scissors and clippers STAT…etc.  But if I just sat down and really INSIDE myself I’d see my true self…and I’m good.  Better than good.  Actually better than great.  (All right I need to quit before I get stupid!) 

The truth is that I’m blessed internally and externally, intrinsically and extrinsically.  I have a blessed reflection.  I reflect God-is-good-ness.  I reflect grace.  I reflect mercy.  I reflect internal beauty.  I reflect external cuteness (LOL).  I reflect humor.  I reflect hope.  I reflect anticipation.  I reflect self-reflection.  I reflect try-my-best-ness.  I reflect make-up-word-ness (LOL).  Now I just need to find the man who compliments, complements, and reflects me.  And that man has to love himself so much that he can’t do anything BUT love me.