A Good Thing

Pastor Jones did it again…gave a word that stepped all over my toes.  (I’m glad I had on my Chucks and not some cute pumps or I might not have been able to walk out of service.)  He preached on my FAVORITE scriptures (and others):

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding.  In all thine ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

Verse 6 is my birthday verse (3/6 being my birthday).

Here is where Pastor broke me off something (paraphrase): “Stop praying for a husband.  Pray that God makes you a wife.” *crickets* Huh?  Don’t I need a husband to be a wife, Pastor?  Of course that is not what he meant.  He meant a Godly wife, the “good thing” that a man finds.

So, clearly I have been praying for a husband.  We know this. God knows this.  And clearly His answer has been “not yet”.  (I’m trying sooooo hard not to ask “why not?” or to say “HERRRRRRRY UP” because I know that neither will make God do anything that He is not ready to do.)  But what I have NOT been asking is “God what is it that I need to do or become to be the kind of wife that you want for the husband you are preparing for me?”  I haven’t prayed for God to make me a wife.

Honestly, I don’t even know what ALL being a wife means.  What ALL is expected of the “good thing”?  I’m real clear that I want my priest, protector, and provider.  I’m very clear that I want the head of my household, the father of my children.  And I say I want him now.  But am I ready for him?

Am I really, REALLY ready to be a wife?  A Godly wife.  A wife that submits to her husband…even when I don’t agree with what he wants us to do.  Am I too independent?  Am I too unorganized and junky (probably)?  Am I selfish?  Am I too accommodating?  Do I compromise too much or not enough?  Do I have enough to offer?  Do I pray enough?  Do I praise enough?  Do I trust enough? 

Who do I really lean on?

Am I a “good thing”?

I know that I will be praying from today on that God shapes me into the right man’s “good thing” and that I enjoy the transformation process.  I know it won’t be easy.  I know it won’t be painless.  Shoot, nothing has been easy or painless yet so I can’t imagine anything will all of a sudden lighten up…not when I am asking for more work and focus.

I must ask God for wisdom, trust and lean on Him – not self, friend or family – and walk in the path that He sets me on.