Single Until You're Married

When I chose the title of this blog, Single But Not Bitter, I wasn’t really thinking about what “single” really meant.  Maybe that is because, regardless of how you define it, I was (and now am) single.  During the time I didn’t write, or wrote sporadically, from ~September last year until around August of this year, I was in a relationship.  Come to find out, I was still single.

I have discovered by questioning some very intelligent people – my friends on FaceBook – “single” is a marital status, not a relationship status.  Single, Married, Divorced, Separated, Widowed.  Marital status.  (Question – aren’t divorced and widowed people “single” if they are not remarried?  Just saying.)  Nobody cares if you are in a committed relationship. 

Does Uncle Sam think you’re single?  Yes?  You’re single.

On any form that asks for status, do you check “married”?  No?  You’re single.

Can your significant other be put on your medical insurance?  No? You’re single. (Or in a spouse-like relationship because you cannot be legally married.  At least that is allowed at my job.)

Is this person the beneficiary of your life insurance?  No?  You’re single.

Is this person your next of kin?  No?  You’re single.

Do you and this person have the same last name?  No?  You’re single.  (Don’t talk to me about the women who don’t take their husband’s last name, ok, you know where I’m going with this.)

Got it?

Unless and until you are married, you are single.

That kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.  I kind of wanted to not be single when I’m in a relationship, really just to have something else to say other than “single”. (I’m sick of “single”.)  But what would that status be called?  There are too many options.

 “Single but in a new relationship that has potential”

“Single but in a really stable relationship that looks like it may just go the distance”

“Single but in love”

“Single but pre-engaged” (You know…he said he was going to ask you soon, just be patient, dang.)

“Single but engaged but don’t have a wedding date yet”

“Single but engaged with a wedding date and a deposit on the hall”

“Single but getting married next month…week…tomorrow”

Hell, that is too complicated.  I guess I’ll take “single until you’re married”…and try to stay “but not bitter”.