Role Models

So I’ve been thinking a lot about children.  (You: what’s new?  Me: shut up.)  It’s not about what you think it is.  A girlfriend of mine sent an interview with Harry Belafonte basically ripping today’s Black celebrities for not being activists and great role models in our community, specifically Beyonce and Jay-Z.  My questions:

·        Are they responsible for the plight of the Black community because they have money?

·        Are they MORE responsible than us regular folks because they have MORE money than we have?

·        Why do we give THEM more power over our community than we assume for ourselves?

·        Are they REQUIRED to be role models in our community because they are artists that we support financially?

 

For me, I think it would be NICE if they looked at the community, saw the needs of the community, and tried to fill them, but I don’t think they are RESPONSIBLE just because they have money.  (Maybe because I don’t like anybody to count or spend MY money for me, I don’t like to spend anybody else’s money for them.)  They are singers, dancers, and rappers, not community activists.  They have committed to entertain, not be our role models.  What did Charles Barkley tell us years ago?  “I’m not a phuckin’ role model.”  Be your own kids’ role models because he is not the one.  (Keep it 100 Charles.)

 

I’m feeling like Charles is right.  When I have kids, I want to be their role models.  Me and the people I choose to expose them to.  Sure, they will be exposed to folks I don’t want to influence them, but I want my influence to be so strong that they are not swayed by foolishness.  I want my kids to say

 

“I got my love of science from my mama.” 

“My mama said to treat women the way I want somebody to treat her.”

“There is no other school than Spelman (or Morehouse) for me.”

“My daddy taught me to do computer programming.” 

“My daddy says a real man is a priest, protector, and provider, not a deadbeat so I’m not having a baby when I’m young, dumb, and can’t find a job.”

“My daddy said ‘wrap it up’.”

“My PawPaw taught me how to pray.”

“Auntie Taki got a PhD even after she was married with a child so I can do it too.”

“My aunt Adrienne was an engineer so I want to be one.” 

“Auntie Natasha is taught me how to do beautiful crafts since Mama can’t even glue straight.”

“Auntie Lisa went to business school so I can get my MBA, too.” 

“My aunt Nicole is a lawyer so I can be one too.” 

“Auntie Nic runs 5Ks so I am going to stay fit.” 

“Most of my aunts are Deltas so you know what I’m going to do!” (LOL) 

“My uncle Kenny taught me how to pitch.” 

“My cousin introduced me to the Boy Scouts and now I’m an Eagle Scout.”

“No weapon formed against me shall prosper.”

“I don’t have to take a bunch of BS from anybody.”

“Uncle Nick is a Que but Uncle Maury is an Alpha…so I’m confused.”  (HAHAHAHA)

I do not want my kids to say that Steebie, Karlie Red, or Lil Scrappy from “Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta” (or whoever is on TV at the time) is who they want to be when they grow up.  If they look at Beyonce and think what she does and says as more important than what I and the “village” I have built around them has done and said, I have failed as a mother. 

I’m scared as hell of failing as a mother.  Failing as a wife would be even more devastating (it would impact the husband and the children) but you can work on a marriage.  And it takes 2 for a marriage to work or fail.  Making a mother-child relationship work is all on the mother until the child reaches adulthood, and even then it’s on the mother because the relationship was built from childhood.  Trying to make it any other way puts too much undo and unfair pressure on a child.  I need to get on my knees about this now, before I even get in either role.