Do It For Free

I’m in a really weird place right now and even getting my love life right probably won’t get me “right”.  But I’m okay with that because where I am is about my LIFE…my whole life…not just some negroes that may or may not come and STAY, may or may not treat me as I deserve, may or may not be deserving of all that I tend to do for a man (read: too much sometimes), may or may not…hell, just may or may not.  Can’t even give that the kind of emphasis that I’ve been giving it…not right this second.

See, what I’ve been dealing with is what am I doing with my life.  I’m serious.  I’m 39, single, no kids – no real prospects (LA dude is as cute as he looked on his profile pics and we’re going out again but I’m not putting him on the “prospects” list yet) – working in Corporate America but not in the position that makes my toes curl.  I’m definitely not doing anything I’d do for free.  (I don’t work for my company; I work for money.)

What I really want to know is: What would I do for free?

What do I really love to do?  Well, I love to read, sleep, eat, and write.  I love to dance (jam, not ballet, jazz, tap, etc….don’t laugh as you try and visualize that, please.  It’s bad for my self-esteem.)  Clearly nobody is interested in my sleeping, eating, and dancing but maybe my reading or writing…or reading and writing?  I’ve gotten a lot of “you should write a book” suggestions that I’ve laughed off with “about what?”  because seriously…about what? 

How to be getting old and single and love it?  Well, I don’t exactly love it.  I’m not angry and bitter but I’d change it in a heartbeat if I was found by my God-chosen mate.

How to be celibate while you wait for your God-chosen mate?  Well, uh, um, you see…what had happened was, I fell off the wagon when…  So, no, that is not a good topic.

How to come to grips with the fact I may not have children?  See “old, single, and loving it”…would change this situation in a heartbeat if it was right.

How people want to hook you up with people they KNOW better than to suggest?  I’m single, not desperate.  Or blind.  Enough said.

How to get over with meeting the man you think could be “the one” and having him disappear into thin air?  How who you think could possibly be your soul mate definitely will not be your life mate?  Truth #1: has happened.  Truth #2: I’d be making up “how to get over” if the end result is “and come out healed and whole” if I tried to write it any time soon.  Or I’d be typing up every piece of advice I’ve been given on how to get over it.  (I’d leave off “the best way to get over one man is to get under another one.”)

How the “Real Housewives of [Random City]” make women look bad?  Specifically How the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” make Black women look bad?  Actually, I’m sure I could get a couple of pages out of that because, good Lord, those broads are ignorant as hell and are hard to watch…but I do it because I am tacky like that.  Speaking of tacky, maybe I can add how the broads on Maury make us look bad.  Housewives + Maury…YES!  Tacky bitches make for good, uh, literature.  I might be on to something…

To be honest, I have been “writing” books in my head for years…fiction, of course…so maybe I’ll put some ink to the paper.  Why not.  It’s not like I have a shortage of material just from my own life.  But now that I’ve brought my favorite TV show up, one character has to be a baby mama with 7 potential baby daddies.