Herman Cain may have lost his seat with the big boys and girls because of women other than his wife. Now, if the sexual harassment claims are true…well, fry his ass because that is a crime and nobody should get away with that kind of shit. But this new broad, this “friend” that his wife didn’t know about, the one claiming the on/off affair for over a decade might just be the one to mess him up. But should an affair –excuse me, an alleged affair – really sink a man’s professional aspirations?
Some would say yes, especially when one’s aspiration includes becoming the President of the United States, for the office of the President should evoke a sense of trustworthiness. If a man’s wife can’t trust him, can the people in his country? If his judgment is so clouded that he believes an affair will either 1) not be discovered or 2) not disturb his life’s status quo, can we trust his judgment in all the roles and responsibilities held by the President? Will he do right by the country if he can’t do right by his wife?
Now, folks let JFK and Marilyn Monroe slide – have an affair that even those of us who were not even born then know about – but is that because infidelity was more the norm then? Or is it because it wasn’t news, wasn’t reported on every news outlet every 36 minutes of every day like Herman Cain’s allegations? JFK damn sure wasn’t on YouTube and wasn’t discussed daily on FaceBook but I can find everything I ever wanted to know about old Hermie on either. Maybe Herman Cain needs to switch teams and go Democrat because Black folks sure got over Messy Jackson’s side piece and illegitimate kid and Bill Clinton’s cigar pretty quickly. Me? I figured if Mrs. Jackson and Mrs. Clinton liked it, I might as well love it; I wasn’t in danger of catching anything from those dudes. Also, Messy Jackson couldn’t lose any more respect from me...I had very little before that came out. But that is neither here nor there.
On FaceBook a friend suggested that we’d do well in this country if we would adopt a “who cares what happens in other folks’ bedroom” attitude that other cultures seem to have. I kind of agreed but had to counter that it would be more of at “who cares what happens in MEN’S bedrooms” because women are still not afforded the same sexual freedom as men around the globe. Maybe if we stopped focusing on who was sleeping with whom – and how, and when, and why, and where – we could focus on a person’s talent, skills, and other offerings. Maybe a person CAN compartmentalize…have a messy personal life and still be qualified to lead a community, corporation, or even a country. Maybe a person CAN have two or more character profiles, that he or she can successfully transform themselves to fit whatever situation they are in.
But isn’t that what we are most afraid of? That we are only seeing a part of what a person is. That we will never really know who a person really is. That we only know what a person wants us to know, see what a person wants us to see. That we are missing some information that we need. That we might be doing the same thing in our relationships.
I am afraid I can skillfully compartmentalize when I am not being careful and vigilant. That I can present what I want a person to see, especially if I am ashamed of a part of myself…at least until I have been given permission, per se, to freely share without fear of judgment or retribution. But I work hard – HARD, I say – at it. I make myself uncomfortable sometimes to be open and honest. Even writing THIS is sometimes painful to me but I promised myself and YOU that I’d be transparent. Sometimes I may fail even when I am clear on what I think and what I feel. But I promise to keep working.
And working.
And working.
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